People, even more than things, have been restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; Never throw out anyone. -Audrey Hepburn
This quote holds a lot of truth. It is the truth. People change. Even after they've been horrible. They can always bounce back. Even myself for example. I've been a bitch. I've been snooty. I've been a "mean girl." But I bounced back. Got my attitude and my act together and now i consider myself an all around "good person." Some people gave me 2nd chances to reclaim myself while others didn't.
For those who didn't, I totally get it.
People go through things. And during the time that they're going through, they may hurt you. They may say words to ruin your reputation. They may take from you. They may drain you. But keep in mind, they have the ability to bounce back.
Let's say they do bounce back and you give them a second chance; You soon begin to notice they cycle again. Once again, you're hurt. You're bruised. You're drained. What do you do now? Keep in mind, they'll probably bounce back and once again, that quote by Audrey Hepburn is active in your life.
My question is: How long do we allow this cycle to continue? How many times are people allowed to restore, renew, revive and reclaim themselves?
When does it turn from being forgiving to being taken advantage of? And how long will we tolerate it?
The end of that quote that this entry began with states, "Never write off anyone." Hmmm. So does that mean that people can take us through an emotional rollercoaster and then bounce back...and then do it again and we be OK with that?
My first thought is "HELL NO!" However, the smart side of my brain knows, to NEVER write anyone completely off. Especially people you love. And often, it's the people who we love taking us through this cycle. Think about it, when was the last time you let a person who you had not a care in the world for drive you nuts?
Chances are, you haven't
The people we love, know we love them. And they know that no matter how many times they take us through this cycle, they'll somehow bounce back and be at square one. And because they KNOW this, they (sometimes unknowingly) hurt us, brusie us, tear us down. And It's OK to love these people. However, these type of people have to be loved from a distance.
When you love somebody from a distance, it doesn't completely cut a person out of your life. It's just you taking control and making the decision of holding the relationship in YOUR hands. When you hold the relationship in your hands, you reduce the risk of this cycle occuring. People can't just bounce back as freely as they want to.
I'm tired of seeing people take advantage of people who love them. Sometimes we are so selfish and self centered that we don't even realize what we're doing and how we're bringing other people down. I encourage all of us to take a step back and look into our hearts. What is the motive? Are we constantly in bounce back mode? Are we constantly restoring, renewing, reviving, reclaming and redeeming ourselves? If you notice those traits in yourself, check it. Quick. Not everyone will follow the ending of that quote. Some people won't love you from a distance. Some people will soon grow tired of you bouncing back and just cut you off. And you don't want that...especially from the people who show you so much love.
We all need each other in one way or another. Lets not ruin relationships by contantly being in bounce back mode. Once we bounce back, we need to find stability.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Bored with Life.
Ever caught yourself daydreaming about something that just isn't quite right?
Ever caught yourself of a date with someone that you KNEW you couldn't bring to Sunday dinner?
Ever found yourself caught up in soooooo much drama because of one wrong move that you made?
Yes. All of these things happen to the best of us. Many of us write it off as a "learning experience," when in reality we could have went without that experience.
It's apart of human nature to want to chase a thrill. We all want to know if the grass is really going to be greener on the other side. And we all have a desire to be a bad ass at some point. But what happens when curiosity really starts killing the cat. What happens when your thrill becomes just a bit too thrilling for your taste? What happens when you go peeking to see if the grass is really greener but all you find are weeds and snakes in the grass?
Sometimes, we get bored with life. And start looking for what I call "trouble." Most of the time, we don't even realize that the decisions that we are about to make, because of BOREDOM, is gonna cause heaps of trouble. When we're bored, we act on impulse. Oftentimes, just ready for whatever, because we're bored...looking for that thrill. Feeling like our garden is turning brown so u wanna go snoop around and see if it's greener over there. Bad Idea.
Most of the time, the things we do out of boredom, are things that don't even fit our character. They're not natural to us. We don't even want to do it most of the time. But we do, for the couple of seconds of the rush. The fun. The thrill. And when we do things that we really don't wanna do soon follows regret. And after regret follows mess. You'll then realize that the grass isn't greener and you've probably made a bad move.
We often have friends who live certain lifestyles that we want to get a taste of..Or we often want to go places just to see how it is..Or we want to do things just to say that it's been done. And when we're bored, of course, its easier to give in your curiosity that should remain curiosity only. We then begin to dibble and dabble in things that doesn't have our name written on and clearly isn't for us. Then when it's all said and done and tomorrow is here, and last night is a memory..we're stuck with a regret. All because we felt that our personal life was "boring," and we decided to chase a thrill.
Everthing isn't for everybody. Let me say it again. Everything isn't for everybody.
We have got to become comfortable in our own skin. We have got to become comfortable with our own lives. It's not always necessary to chase a thrill..because 9 times out of 10 the grass in your own garden is greener. Almost all of the time, what we desire, what we need, what we want is right in front of us. We may have to open our hearts and look inside, maybe even shake things up and make slight changes. But it's THERE. It's not necessary to snoop in another garden and then check it off as a "lesson learned." Was that lesson really necessary? Couldn't you have taught yourself that? Wasn't it pretty self explanitory?
When life get's boring, think twice before you chase that thrill. What you need is right in front of you. You just have to look.
Ever caught yourself of a date with someone that you KNEW you couldn't bring to Sunday dinner?
Ever found yourself caught up in soooooo much drama because of one wrong move that you made?
Yes. All of these things happen to the best of us. Many of us write it off as a "learning experience," when in reality we could have went without that experience.
It's apart of human nature to want to chase a thrill. We all want to know if the grass is really going to be greener on the other side. And we all have a desire to be a bad ass at some point. But what happens when curiosity really starts killing the cat. What happens when your thrill becomes just a bit too thrilling for your taste? What happens when you go peeking to see if the grass is really greener but all you find are weeds and snakes in the grass?
Sometimes, we get bored with life. And start looking for what I call "trouble." Most of the time, we don't even realize that the decisions that we are about to make, because of BOREDOM, is gonna cause heaps of trouble. When we're bored, we act on impulse. Oftentimes, just ready for whatever, because we're bored...looking for that thrill. Feeling like our garden is turning brown so u wanna go snoop around and see if it's greener over there. Bad Idea.
Most of the time, the things we do out of boredom, are things that don't even fit our character. They're not natural to us. We don't even want to do it most of the time. But we do, for the couple of seconds of the rush. The fun. The thrill. And when we do things that we really don't wanna do soon follows regret. And after regret follows mess. You'll then realize that the grass isn't greener and you've probably made a bad move.
We often have friends who live certain lifestyles that we want to get a taste of..Or we often want to go places just to see how it is..Or we want to do things just to say that it's been done. And when we're bored, of course, its easier to give in your curiosity that should remain curiosity only. We then begin to dibble and dabble in things that doesn't have our name written on and clearly isn't for us. Then when it's all said and done and tomorrow is here, and last night is a memory..we're stuck with a regret. All because we felt that our personal life was "boring," and we decided to chase a thrill.
Everthing isn't for everybody. Let me say it again. Everything isn't for everybody.
We have got to become comfortable in our own skin. We have got to become comfortable with our own lives. It's not always necessary to chase a thrill..because 9 times out of 10 the grass in your own garden is greener. Almost all of the time, what we desire, what we need, what we want is right in front of us. We may have to open our hearts and look inside, maybe even shake things up and make slight changes. But it's THERE. It's not necessary to snoop in another garden and then check it off as a "lesson learned." Was that lesson really necessary? Couldn't you have taught yourself that? Wasn't it pretty self explanitory?
When life get's boring, think twice before you chase that thrill. What you need is right in front of you. You just have to look.
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